Long time gone . . . Is Liberty rising from the ashes?

Well, I've been quiet for awhile now, taking in what's happening in the Middle-East and Wisconsin these last weeks, reading and listening to everything I can to get a grasp of what it really means. I may just be overwhelmed by my own elation as I witness the mass rejection of corrupt power by the people. Tunisia's regime change by popular demand was quickly overshadowed by Egypt, whose peaceful protesters, even when attacked by government thugs, held their ground and their resolve until (a very reluctant to leave) Mubarak was pressured to abdicate his supposedly elected throne. Sadly, some people were killed as are now being killed in Libya, Yemen and other Arab nations that are willing to stop the public cry for liberty by any means possible. Still, the people march on knowing full well of their sacrifice.
In the midst of this Donald Rumsfeld hits the media with a book tour touting his accomplishments? Would that be regime change by illegal war? And no one calls him on it? That may be because the United States has been on the wrong side of this issue since the first oil well was struck in Saudi Arabia not so long ago. As long as we had full access to all the oil we needed for military-industrial expansionism we didn't care how oppressive the king, dictator or president was. In fact, the more repressive the government was, the more brutal their methods of torture, the easier it was for our C.I.A. to conduct out of sight their brand of "intelligence gathering" making sure the despots stayed in power and the oil kept flowing our way. All the while we, the USA, could keep up our facade of "Spreading Peace Throughout the World".
The current pro-union, pro-worker peaceful protest at the State House in Wisconsin makes us ask . . . "Is it really going to happen here?" Are we Americans, (no offense, Canada) going to get off our fat, lazy asses and finally say NO to the decades old systematic takeover of our government by corporate industry and the banks that enable them? Be still my heart, I think I can muster the energy for one more "Takin' It To The Streets" if it means bringing humanity and respect for the common good back into our collective national soul. But I warn you, this better be for real and not just the echo of the 2008 election where progressives, old and young rallied in support of real change after two questionably legal terms of the worst president in our history. We beat a rigged voting system to elect Obama, the Voice of Change, who quite openly, albeit underneath all the rhetoric, told us . . . "If you really want change, make me do it." . . . but instead we went back to our couches and got all pissy when he wasn't able to do it all for us. How long have you lived in this country and how many elections have you participated in? When was the last time a politician, president or otherwise, ever came through on all their campaign promises? A politician's goal is above all else, get elected, then stay in power long enough to make the business connections that will insure a lucrative life after the people get wise and throw your ass out. There are exceptions and Bernie and Dennis know who they are. We must participate in our own governance. We must initiate the change for the common good because greed is a powerful force to overcome. Don't like the term "socialized medicine"? then call it Health Care for the Common Good. Education for the Common Good. Infrastructure, police and emergency protections for the Common Good. Privatization is what you need when you go to the bathroom or get intimate with your loved ones.
As usual, this ends up as a rant against the Corporatocracy of America which I suppose is every bit as oppressive as the tyrants and dictators being overthrown in the Middle-East. I hope with my very being that this is a world-wide monumental movement toward a more humanitarian world and the best part is that it is a movement based on the power of peaceful protest. Who saw That coming?

". . . So, Thank goodness . . ." Part 3, The Hospital Stay

We left our heroine at the emergency admitting desk at Cooley Dickinson Hospital and let me say, mention the word stroke and people just jump into action. First stop was Triage, and lucky for me the nurse had studied with my Endocrinologist so she was already quite familiar with the trans/hormone/risk factor. I'd made the right decision in calling my son to be with me as I realized that he was finishing most of my sentences for me. It was apparent however, that the event was waning and my full vision was returning and my face was no longer numb. The next step was the emergency room proper, where I was put in a bed and hooked up to the vitals machine, relieved of several tubes of blood, (I still can't watch that part) and after awhile got to tell my story to the ER doctor. This time I was able to do all the talking myself at least. Then it was the waiting which is to be expected since, by my understanding, things could get better or worse depending on whether this was a prelude of something imminent or just a glimpse of fun times to come.
Next was the "let's have a look" stage and I was off to x-rays and a cat scan of my brain from which they found nothing abnormal. (Yes, I'm as surprised as you) It was decided that I should spend the night at least and have some ultrasound tests on my heart and major arteries to check for blockages. I got to tell my story to more doctors and after it was mentioned that yes, I am clinically depressed and yes, I do drink, I was set up with a meeting with the staff therapist as well.
In all this story-telling I was acutely aware of the lack of knowledge of transsexuals by everyone here except the original triage nurse so I did not pass up the chance to do some educating. Let me back up first and praise the staff in its entirety for their respectful and totally accepting treatment of a trans-person. In fact, I found the care there to be exceptional. The main point that I wanted to make in this educational window of opportunity was the unavailability of the recommended (by medical professionals including the AMA) corrective surgery (Gender Reassignment Surgery) for those of low income with my medical condition which is having a female brain in a physically male body. Call it Transsexualism, Harry Benjamin Syndrome, Gender Incongruity, whatever you like, it is now proven to be a biological condition that happens to males and females alike and the accepted surgical treatment is standard practice in countries that have medical systems that are more up to date than the biased, for-profit system we have here in the US. What's interesting is that no one disagreed with me which tells me that if the Doctors ran our medical system instead of profiteers it would be a lot more humane.
After a day and a half with the knowledge that I had long ago adopted the recommended habits for a person living with my medical risks, other than quit drinking altogether, I was allowed to resume my sordid life. It was suggested that I stop taking or at least lower the levels of my hormone regiment to which I said I'd rather shoot myself, so that was dropped as an option.

I suppose Part 4 will be . . . "Where do we go from here?"

". . .So, Thank goodness . . . ." Part 2; My First TIA

I really hate having to prove a point this way but . . . only one month after I posted about the hazards of being a pre-op transsexual on hormone therapy long term, I experienced my first TIA, (Transient Ischemic Attack) commonly known as a mini-stroke. It's one of those moments in life where you know without a doubt that "This Is Not A Drill"! While at the computer reading the morning newsgroups a small, out-of-focus circle appeared in my left eye and within minutes began to grow into a large enough circle to block out my entire vision. (think of looking through a portal into an alternate universe that operates on a different frequency) Along with this the left side of my face, from scalp to chin, went numb. Instincts kicked in with a blaring "You are having a stroke!" (I had been through the sequence of this with my Dad years ago who had several mini-strokes and later died of a massive one) There was also the realization that although I knew I had to act, I was no longer in the driver's seat. It wasn't panic but a sense that I had to re-route each thought through different channels to initiate motor functions. (I'm sure my past experiences with LSD came in handy here) Simple directives - put on clothes, call for help, any order . . . this took more than 30 minutes and my vision was reduced to the extreme corners of my eyes. I couldn't see the cell phone in my hand but I did know where the buttons where to auto-dial my son for a ride to the hospital. Having been on the other side of this scenario I can't say whether it's easier being the parent in crisis or the child, just an affirmation of the cycles of life.
During this time-warp I did have the internal conversation that went . . . "You do know that you could be dying here, right?" . . . "Yes, I do." . . . "So how do you feel about that?" . . . "It's ok, I'm not afraid." . .. "What about all the things you never finished?" . . . "Fuck 'em." . . .
Anyone reading this by now has already asked, "Why didn't you call an ambulance?" My answer, and I did think about this at the time and I suppose you'd have to know me to appreciate it, was . . . "That would be too dramatic." A more rational motive was probably that I knew I was losing brain function and I would need someone I trust to speak for me. By the time we got to the hospital the event had peaked and my vision was slowly returning but I was still having trouble being coherent.

Stay tuned for the next blog; "The Hospital Stay - or, How Many Times Do I Have To Tell This Story?"

So, thank goodness you're not a transsexual.

First, click on this article and read. . .

Source:
www.opednews.com

Now,let's get personal.  I am a transsexual, a pre-op transsexual to be specific.  What that means to the uninitiated  is that I have not undergone gender-reassignment-surgery otherwise known as GRS.  I haven't because I can't afford it.  Medicare won't pay for it even though it is the recommended procedure for my condition acknowledged by the AMA and all the psychs, therapists and gender counselors that I've had the pleasure of spilling my guts to. (among other probes and fondles) There are some insurance companies that will pay for GRS, mostly the ones subscribed to by large corporations who see beyond gender discrimination, but not our Federally supported health insurance run by regressive, unenlightened bureaucrats. But that's a rant for another time.
I began my ingestion of hormones , HRT, (hormone replacement therapy) more than seven years ago under strict
supervision of doctors at the Callen-Lourde Clinic in NYC.  Before I could start, however, I had to get evaluations from at least two mental health professionals, one Psychiatrist and one Psychologist to satisfy and comply with the "Standards of Care" for transsexuals adapted from the studies and developed procedures of Dr. Harry Benjamin.  Those going through transition call this "Jumping through the hoops".  Part of my hoop-jumping was being lectured at least three times about the possible life-threatening dangers of being pumped full of estrogen at the levels of a teenager along with a huge dose of anti-androgen (testosterone suppressant) in order to physically change my prison of a male body into a hopefully passable or at least somewhat more comfortable female one.  With all the horrible side affects that could happen, cancers, strokes, heart failure mentioned in the previous article why would anyone chose to do this?  Because when a transsexual is facing this "choice", the only other option is not to go on living at all.
After GRS the estrogen levels can be reduced and the anti-androgen eliminated but not until then which means that those of us who can't afford the operation must continue to live with the risks, die from them, or until the depression of living in an incomplete state takes its toll and we go back to door number two.

When Religion Becomes Fatal

     This is a tough one and the Mouse is bothered.  I am no fan of most of today's religions.  Like nationalism, it allows one to believe that their way is the one true way and any number of actions, including murder, is a valid response to that belief being threatened.  I won't judge those who believe in a god of some kind, in fact I am very accepting of and stand up for the freedom of religion as long as that religion accepts all others and in particular my right to disbelieve.  Whether or not I am an atheist or a deist, like our founding fathers, is of no matter, the point is that what you believe or don't is personal to you and is one of your basic human rights.  That's a really, really big point.  How you imagine an entity of higher power, if you imagine one at all, happens only in your mind.  Words written in a book have been written by men (women too, but those have all been burned and buried) and if you want to follow the ideals of those writings then that is your choice as well.  Personally, I see being a responsible human being in charge of your own actions is much more evolved than allowing yourself to believe that a higher power controls all actions and the fact that you just hurt or killed someone is not your fault because your god deemed it the right thing to do.  Which brings me to this story.
     In Pakistan there is one Mrs. Bibi, mother of  five and a Christian in a predominately Muslim society.  Mrs. Bibi is currently in jail awaiting possible execution for blasphemy.  That's right, it's 2010, not 1020 and someone is in jail accused of blasphemy.  The particulars are this;  working on a farm, Mrs. Bibi brought her fellow workers some water which they, being Muslim, would not accept because Mrs. Bibi, being Christian, made the water "impure".  Well, offense was taken, words were exchanged and in Pakistan, only Muslims have the right to be right.  This is my problem with religion going beyond the personal.  When it becomes entwined in nationalism, it becomes fatal.  Hence, our deist founding fathers of America stressing the importance of the "Separation of Church and State". 
     This isn't a condemnation of Muslims or Christians, it is a condemnation of fundamentalists whether in Pakistan or the United States and of any and all religions.  I always thought "fundamental" meant "most basic" but in today's world, it means "most biased, most ignorant, most hateful, most non-accepting, most intolerant" . . . I could go on.  Writing this I remember vividly my high school years. . . in an over-crowded school of a thousand, a mixed bag of mostly Catholics, Protestants and Jews, there was one Muslim boy.  Every day at lunch, in a delinquent filled cafeteria, he prayed before he ate.  No one, and I do mean no one, would have ever thought of intruding on his peace of mind for those few minutes.  We're losing that civility in this modern world.  Intolerance of "others" is becoming the norm.  Divide and conquer, build walls to keep them out, drive out the infidels, whatever your battle-cry, you make us less human.  Mrs. Bibi offered a moments relief in the spirit of acceptance and was scorned because of what, she read words from a different book?  She should be killed for words?  Is this the same as Joe Lieberman calling for the execution of Julian Assange for the words he posted on Wikileaks?
   Free Mrs. Bibi.  Free Mr. Assange.  Free speech, religious or political.  The Mouse is bothered.
    

Killing the messenger sends the wrong message . . .

     It's probably not going to end well for our hero, Julian Assange, and he probably knows that.  Personally I think he has been prepared for this from the outset of his passionate crusade of exposing the truth.  Anyone with his level of internet-savvy, or for that matter, just about anyone who uses a computer has witnessed the "powers that be" trying to maneuver into positions of control over this last bastion of free speech, or the name I love, the Blogosphere.  Should the United States use its bullying tactics to override the Swedish legal system (really, who's going to stop them) and force them to hand over Mr. Assange after they extradite him from his current holding cell in Britain, where we should point out, he turned himself in in regards to Sweden's warrants for his arrest on rape and molestation charges, they would have him skewered and roasted before anyone could say false arrest.
     Apparently the Swedish court has dropped the "rape" charge and only holds on to the molestation one since one of the two women accusers, Ann Ardin, seems to have fled and information from her or about her seems to be systematically disappearing on the web.  http://nicholasmead.com/2010/08/21/how-to-smear-a-hero/
This woman has past ties to the CIA, need we say more.  This was a sloppy set-up and having no real charges other than "you embarrassed the once and powerful USA", the American military-industrial controllers of freedom are at this moment changing laws and drumming up charges.  The corporate media spin machine has already whipped the sheeple into a frenzy of "Kill the Messenger"!!!
     That's the other thing, WikiLeaks did not steal the information from the Pentagon, they only printed it just like the New York Times and the Guardian in Britain. Does the term Free Press mean anything anymore?  Of course not, you silly progressive liberals.  The real source of the memos and videos so far produced, and this is not funny, is a young disgruntled Pfc. Bradley Manning who now, at last check anyway, is sitting in a cell at Quantico military prison. The accusations he faces for leaking this info, violations of the Military Code of Justice, could bring him a fifty-two year sentence with no pay and a dishonorable discharge.  The trial may not be for another year and this mouse would not be surprised if the Brass, under pressure from those who benefit most from the secrecy of their corruption, find a way to escalate the charges and execute the poor boy.
     Freedom of speech, one of the most important fucking concepts that this country was founded upon, is now becoming equal to treason.  The Patriot Act, the most un-American and hideously fascist piece of work slipped under the noses of the populace under false pretense, has enabled the systematic destruction of our Constitution and hard-gained civil rights.  The FBI are rounding up political dissenters in unprecedented numbers.  We need WikiLeaks, we need a free internet, we need free speech and a free press and we can never stop fighting for the truth to be made public.  Wouldn't it be nice if Sweden told the United States, "Fuck off!, we're not playing your silly games anymore!, and we won't let you kill the messenger!".

All news is bad news?

I must admit, this has been a trying day.  Let's rehash; the anniversary of John Lennon's assassination, Julian is in a British prison, hopefully protected from U.S. assassins, Obama lashes out at "idealist progressives" for expecting too much, new Wikileaks memos talk about certain Afghani males' penchant for fucking little boys, BP still making profits by devastating the environment, Canada still pushing for the most polluting oil extraction method ever conceived, and my cat still poops"outside the box".  The real war has begun, starship troopers, there will be casualties but there's no turning back now.  May the force be with you.